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You will enjoy another day of competent leadership, courtesy of accomplished professionals who have the knowledge, skill, and experience to tackle problems in a calm, systematic way, thus allowing you to forge ahead with your life goals without feeling like you're headed off a cliff. Enjoy a delicious treat your taste buds have had their eyes on. Tonight: restful, rejuvenating sleep.
Tuesday's Horoscope for Republicans
If you're not arrested for insurrection, the Jewish space laser will find you and scorch your shorts. Take time to smell the conspiracies. Tonight: the worst sleep of your life again as you wrestle with your conservative grifter-made pillow that feels like it’s been stuffed with the bones of roadkill.
Have a great day!
Cheers and Jeers forTuesday, February 2, 2021
Note: If you have a MAGA hat, burn your MAGA hat. If you need a MAGA hat, get the hell off this blog. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
16 days ‘til Mars gets another visitor from Earth. Sadly for Earth, that visitor is not Lindsey Graham.
Days 'til the Perseverance rover lands on Mars: 16
Drop in coronavirus cases over the last three weeks: -40%
Number of companies (a record high) that earned a perfect score of 100 in the Human Rights Campaign's annual LGBTQ Equality Index: 767
Number of companies that achieved a perfect score when the first Index came out in 2002: 13
Official number of police officers injured by Republican insurrectionists on Jan. 6 at the Capitol: 140
Democrats polled by Monmouth University who approve of the job President Biden is doing: 90%
Percent chance that Norwegian member of parliament Petter Eide nominated Black Lives Matter for the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize for "bringing forward a new consciousness and awareness about racial justice": 100%
CHEERS to a very large shoe hanging over a very large head. If the brains of Republicans in the Senate hadn't been replaced with cinderblocks long ago, I might hold out some hope that they'll vote to convict President Biden's insurrectionist predecessor at his impeachment trial this month. Instead they'll cultishly give him a free pass, so the best we can hope for is that the Democrats will present a case so ugly and damning that America convulses in rage against the entire seditionist GOP and clobbers them in the 2022 midterms. In the meantime, here's something that may keep the Madman of Mar-A-Lago's blood pressure dangerously high:
MSNBC and NBC News legal analyst and former federal prosecutor Glenn Kirschnertold SiriusXM host Dean Obeidallah that the Justice Department is likely building a grand jury case against Donald Trump for seditious conspiracy and incitement of the Capitol insurrection. […]
"Everyday around the country, FBI agents are locking up insurrectionists, and what they do is they take them back to the local FBI field office, they mirandize them. If they waive their Miranda rights, they interrogate them, they get them to confess, and all of these insurrectionists are weak human beings for the most part or they wouldn’t need to beat people with flagpoles and strap long guns across their big old bellies.
And after they confess, they will ask the motive question: Why did you do this? Every last one of them will be saying the same thing: 'Donald Trump told me to. He told me that people in that [Capitol] building up the street…stole my vote [and] they stole our election. And he told us to go in there and stop them.'
Well first of all, that’s inciting insurrection. And second, what that does is, it’s building a case against Donald Trump and Don Jr. and Giuliani for, among other things, their pep talk telling these insurrectionists to get up the street and get into the capital."
Betrayed by his own lily-livered orcs. I live to see the day.
CHEERS to government web sites worth bookmarking—like this one. Never was there a bigger waste of internet space than the previous administration's official web sites, which were little more than propaganda outlets for their Republican cult leader. That all changed for the better on January 20th when the Democrats took over the Executive Branch, and none more impressively than that of the State Department. Under the capable direction of Secretary of State Antony Blinken, once again human rights are being advocated for, fences are being mended, and bad actors are being put on notice. Exhibit A:
“The U.S. condemns the persistent use of harsh tactics against peaceful protesters and journalists by Russian authorities for a second week straight.
A SecState not wasting a moment getting to work.
We renew our call for Russia to release those detained for exercising their human rights, including Aleksey Navalny.”
Amazing how easy it is to stand on the right side of history when your president doesn't come with strings attached.
CHEERS to bold leadership. 73 years ago today, in 1948, President Harry Truman made the racists cry by urging Congress to adopt recommendations by a presidential commission on civil rights. It's almost breathtaking in scope. He ended his message to Congress with this, a statement that resonates just as loudly today:
[W]e must protect our civil rights so that by providing all our people with the maximum enjoyment of personal freedom and personal opportunity we shall be a stronger nation—stronger in our leadership, stronger in our moral position, stronger in the deeper satisfactions of a united citizenry.
The buck stopped with him.
We know that our democracy is not perfect. But we do know that it offers freer, happier life to our people than any totalitarian nation has ever offered.
If we wish to inspire the peoples of the world whose freedom is in jeopardy, if we wish to restore hope to those who have already lost their civil liberties, if we wish to fulfill the promise that is ours, we must correct the remaining imperfections in our practice of democracy.
JEERS to today's edition of Welcome to 2021, Rip Van Winkle. Courtesy opinion writer and rich guy John Macintosh over at CNN:
"I'm part of the 1%. We need to acknowledge that the deck has been stacked in our favor"
This has been today's edition of Welcome to 2021, Rip Van Winkle.
CHEERS to Snowzilla! How uncommon is the storm that’s ravaged a 1,200-mile stretch of American Motherland Freedom Soil, affecting nearly 100 million Yearners to Breathe Free? It's such a hazardous storm that it's been designated by the National Weather Service as a "Blizzard Unsympathetically Launching Lightning, Snow, Hail, Icicles and Thunder" (BULLSHIT). It's been called historic, once a century, awesome, unprecedented and, among the young'uns, "super awesome!" Southern Maine is expected to get a foot, so Michael and I were running around yesterday frantically getting our emergency supplies together. Only this morning did we realize how miserably we'd failed. We forgot the daiquiri umbrellas.
JEERS to weapons of mass annoyance. On February 2, 1991, during the Gulf War that a Bush actually won, Iraq fired Scud missiles at Israel and Saudi Arabia. Today school children read about it in their textbooks as the Battle of Yes Saddam Hussein Really Was That Dumb.
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Ten years ago in C&J:February 2, 2011
CHEERS to the beginning of the end. Hosni Mubarek, who became Egyptian president when Anwar Sadat was killed by people throwing chairs on top of him (that's how I remember it, anyway), announced yesterday that he won’t run for a 500th term as Terrible Leader. But—always a but, isn’t there?—he wants to continue fluffing the palace pillows until September. No dice, Grampa, say the protesters and President Obama, it's time for you to pick out your rockin' chair now. So that's where it stands as of this morning. At this point there's hope for a quick resolution so that the nation, paralyzed for weeks, can finally start the process of cleaning up and removing the stench that has spread across the land. Step 1: change the Sphinx's litterbox.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to furry fortunetellers. If today feels like the day before, Surprise! It's Groundhog Day. We'll keep tabs on how all the various critters fare this morning and fill in the results here:
Shubenacadie Sam (Nova Scotia): Early spring!
General Beauregard Lee (Lilburn,GA):
Phil saw his shadow.
Staten IslandChuck:
Wiarton Willie (Ontario):
DunkirkDave (Dunkirk, NY):
PunxsutawneyPhil: At Gobblers Knob, PA, the "official" groundhog predicts six more weeks of winter.
Buckeye Chuck (Marion, OH):
“Jimmy” (Sun Prairie,Wisconsin):
Fred la Marmotte (Quebec):
The suspense is killing me.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"I apologize for thinking that Bill in Portland Maine ate babies."
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